So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
