so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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