Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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