whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
