wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
