I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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