i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize