My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
