Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize