If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
