Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
