Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
