I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize