yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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