I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
