i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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