He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
