I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
