he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
