If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There was a lot of him and a little penis
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
