porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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