she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
