One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
