You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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