i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
