Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
