When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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