Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't deserve a penis
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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