I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
