just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
