Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
