my mouth tastes like poor choices
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
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