what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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