in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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