Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it glows. i had to have it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
