bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Come see our sink grown plant.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
