I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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