remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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