you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you're hired as official boob wrangler
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Come on in and take your pants off
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