I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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