I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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