He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
