I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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