If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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