Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
