they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I believe in your delicious
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
