My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
