I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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