when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
