4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
