How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
