ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
