dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
