I will die if light touches me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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