I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
