should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
