Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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