I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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