just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
