The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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