is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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