I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
