Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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