No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
